MACONAMI: Flex-ident

Written in Jaffa St., West Jerusalem on Christmas Day 2005

I feel comfortable. I feel at ease, my channels are open for pleasure. I sit in this cafe in "Israel" and I can leave aside my anger and frustration for a moment. But wait, it is still there, lurking in the background. I can conjure it up at any second; it just takes a shift in my mental concentration. A little outbreak of that age-old rabia: I detest the majority of the human race, who see themselves in terms of citizens of a nation, members of a religion, of a sect, cult, clan or tribe. That they don't see themselves first and foremost as human beings, putting that factor above all others, makes me sick to the stomach. Not that they don't; perhaps in their own internal rhetoric, in their self-identity, they do consider themselves human beings first and foremost, above all else, as the lowest common denominator of their identity, at the core of who they are.(Or perhaps for some this is just an irrelevant medical condition). The problem is that either they don't show it or they do not translate this belief into action, or they do not acknowledge, register or admit it, in the face of a bullying zealot who happens to be their reference person. This is my complaint. This is the core issue that makes me feel nauseous every time I'm faced with the sheer stubbornness of the stains of human nature. The nausea and anger I experience when I am faced with the incapacity or unwillingness of people to review their identities and realise that they are a. dynamic and ever-evolving and b. contain contradictory elements that must be addressed and reconciled, not just blatantly ignored. Hmm, I think of Josh's brainchild...multiple commitments....excellent. Create the fissure this way, by addressing the inherent contradictions in the multiple commitments that ABSOLUTELY NEED TO BE RECONCILED IF YOU ARE TO GAIN INNER PEACE AND TRANQUILLITY AT ALL.....This fear that all commentary/ opposition to their behaviour is a threat to their very existence and the integrity of their being. That all commentary is destructive criticism...aaaaaaaaagh. I am not criticising you, I'm questioning and am concerned about your behaviour. When will people start to show some self responsibility!!!?!Yes, these unpleasant traits deriving from needs....the need to belong to a group, to define yourself and thus define yourself in terms of the others. So where are the major bones of (my) contention: RESPONSIBILITY and the lack of taking it on. When people succumb to their needs and desires without thinking of the bigger picture...ok, the Jewish girls who walk along the street. They've all been in the army, they have all seen what they are doing ; what Israel is doing to the Palestinians. Yet they finish their service and they forget about it and continue their life in First World Israel, at the vanguard of so many things...at the expense of the basic wellbeing of so many other non-Jewish people.....But when people say "I'm not interested in politics" or "what can I do?" or "Why can't we just make peace" they are delegating responsibility for the problem to others, to leaders, politicians, etc. Thinking it is just a political problem. But they don't really engage with the problem this way. No. It's just a cop-out. They are in denial of how much responsibility actually lies with them. Historical and present day responsibility and responsibility to the future....They are in denial of how much they would have to engage with the problem in order to have some kind of just peace. What about justice in this equation....or what about objectivity of the narrative of historic events. It makes me sad and ashamed that a lot of people (on all sides, from all walks of life) have the conception that the responsibility lies with someone else.